Catch Up Lady

From the Randomly Hilarious Bin

Jesus, it's been so long since I've blogged I wasn't sure I remembered my log in.  So, to ease back into it I wanted to share a couple of laugh out loud hilarious Web sites I've found since I went radio silent.

Oh Crap. My Parents Joined Facebook.  An homage to all of the awkward things parents are wont to do on Facebook while not fully understanding its purpose or rules of engagement.  (Or in the case of the entry below, understanding it a little to well)

Man Babies.  I don't know where this site has been all my life, but you haven't lived until you've checked out this circus - in which baby's heads are photoshopped onto their dad's/grand dad's bodies and vice versa.

 
So, now you know what I've been doing for the last six weeks.  Um, nothing.

I Fell In Love At the Apple Store: R&B meets Technology!

There's nothing not to like about this rap, home made at the Apple store on 5th Ave in NYC.  Not only is the song "catchy as hell" according to Gizmodo, but it combines two of my favorite things - atrocious R&B and technology.  Hells yes!

The song was recorded by FattySpins on one of the demo MacBooks at the store.  He freely admits there appears to be a "homeless giant" standing behind him in the YouTube description, and defends himself against green screen accusations by posting the rough cut and stating, "If you're wondering why the other people in the store hardly turned around, then you've obviously never been to New York." 

HT to Catch Up Bro for this find.

Shit My Dad Says

Props to my mom for sending this gem my way.  Shit My Dad Says is a Twitter handle authored by 28-year old Justin who lives at home with his 78-year old father.  The handle is solely dedicated to transmitting pearls of ... wisdom (?)... from Justin's dad. 

Shit My Dad Says has over 150,000 followers - and is only following LeVar Burton back.  Which I find even more hilarious than the concept itself.

My Mom could definitely have a Twitter feed dedicated to her one liners.  One of my faves:  "How do you tell the difference between baking soda and powdered sugar? Taste it, if it tastes like shit it's baking soda."  I wonder if @ShitMyMomSays is taken yet...

Ted Kennedy on Ted Kennedy

Is it too soon to make Ted Kennedy jokes?  Ted Kennedy* doesn't think so.

*This would be Ted Kennedy, of the Ann Arbor, Michigan Kennedys.  Talk about a once in a lifetime joke opportunity.

EDIT:  The best reaction to this post came from a one Mike Jackson:

13 Year Old Time Travels Back To Age of the Walkman

Holy crap.  You have to love this BBC News article in which a father asks his 13 year old son to trade his iPod for a Walkman for one week's time.  Engadget does a great job pulling out the most relevant slash hilarious quotes in their story entitled, "13 year old trades iPod for Walkman, reports on mysterious ancient artifact":

• "It took me three days to figure out that there was another side to the tape. That was not the only naive mistake that I made; I mistook the metal/normal switch on the Walkman for a genre-specific equaliser, but later I discovered that it was in fact used to switch between two different types of cassette."
• "I managed to create an impromptu shuffle feature simply by holding down "rewind" and releasing it randomly - effective, if a little laboured."
• "When playing, it is clearly evident that the music sounds significantly different than when played on an MP3 player, mainly because of the hissy backtrack and odd warbly noises on the Walkman."

A few weekends ago I actually discussed the days of the tape with some girlfriends - we reminisced about staying glued to Top 10 countdowns on radio stations in desperate attempts to record a new song for a mix tape.  Which brings me to mix tapes.  I love iTunes, I love iPods, but I miss receiving mix tapes and CD's - both of which seem to have fallen by the wayside.  I'm going to start an advocacy movement to bring these back.  Paging Blue State Digital...

Bar for Incorporating Bad R&B Into Weddings Continues to Rise

This wedding march to Chris Brown's "Forever" has been making headlines this week - rivaling the famous Brubaker first dance from last summer.  You only need to watch the first few minutes, turns out "Forever" is exceedingly long when you're watching awkward midwesterners dance down the aisle.

All I have to say is that I'm now feeling incredible pressure to incorporate a bad R&B or rap song in to my future wedding.  Wherever the future Mr. Wilkins is, I hope he's already started thinking about this. 

(Sidenote - the best part of the Brubaker's Wedding Dance was when I saw them interviewed on some talk show. The husband goes, "I was at my wedding, and I should have been enjoying every minute of it - instead I was in the bathroom alone stressing out and practicing "The Spank"...)

How To Get Me To Go On a Date With You

Send me a Facebook message like this...

What's cookin, katsup girl???

Just in case you've forgotten who I am - I'll do a quick recap of our fledgling relationship:

1) January 2009 - Caps/Red Wings - OV Scores, Caps Win. We hit it off - like honey bunches and oats. You enjoy my company more than the company of your then boyfriend. Was it flirtation? A mutual love of hockey? The innocence of one of us being attached? I was stymied.

2) May 2009 - After ensuing break-up with said boyfriend, we rendezvous for appys and spirits. More chemistry. More larfs. More ball breaking. Slew and Abby sabotage the courting and you press the eject button before I can call in Mariano to seal the deal.

3) Later May 2009 - The facebook debacle. How sketchy is this? Does you appreciate rich email banter?  The Response: blow off or genuine rain check? The question is debated for days by the Robert H. Smith class of 2010. Everyone but Scooter: Blow off. Scooter: Genuine rain check.

4) June 2009 - Crickets...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I heard there's a Bloggers convention in Chi-town in late July. If true, you gonna be bringing your A-game? The Nati is in for a weekend tilt with the Cubbies and I'd like to pencil you in for Saturday. Cubbies, Old Styles, cute farm girls. Could be a little bit glorious.

Also, continue taking your time sending me your contact information. I'm down in the Thick Stuff on loan and not back in DC till summer's end.

So, yes Scott.  I will go on a date with you.  And I'm making it public so that you can brag about your analytic superiority to your entire business school class, who seems deeply invested in this situation.  Victory is sweet, is it not?

Hilarious Text Messages + Little Used iPhone Features = Return to Blogging

Remember when I used to blog on a regular basis?  Yeah, that was fun.

I thought I'd ease back in to it with a totally random, irrelevant post.  So, with that I give you the two best text messages I've received in the last few days.  Not only were these hilarious, but they gave me an excuse to use the under utilized screen shot feature on my iPhone.  Thanks Steve.

Text message with John Stauffer, my co-host of That Social Media Show on BlogTalkRadio.

Text message with my favorite geriatric medicine eating robot, Paul McEnany of HeeHaw Marketing Blog.

Paul, I do know why I should know that.  It's because I'm the only Midwestern white girl you know who can rap all of Montel Jordan's This is How We Do It, including the throw down refrain.  That is all.

Fancy Fast Food

Totally digging the site Fancy Fast Food, which takes the junkiest of food, and turns it in to... beautiful gourmet junk food.

Exhibit A: 

White Castle Snack Meal #1

Can be transformed in to Tapas de Castillo Blanco


Bravo!

More from the Twitterverse...

The news that Ashton Kutcher hit 1,000,000 followers last night was followed by another historic Twitter moment today - the entry of Oprah into the Twitterverse. 

Within 24 hours Oprah has amassed 160,000 followers - half of whom I think we can safely assume are house wives who have no idea what's going on but would follow Oprah across the Artic tundra if directed.  I think we've jumped the shark.

However!  My bitter slash amused reaction to all this celebrity induced hoopula was shifted to 100% amused when I saw this...