And let me say THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME. One of the first posts I made on this blog (actually on the day I started it!) was entitled To Shaq, or Not to Shaq. In it I highlighted several amazingly awesome quotes. I list them here below, along with some more I’ve dug up:
- I am the number one Ninja and I have killed all the Shoguns in front of me.
- I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it's not how you start the date, it's how you finish it sir.
- I'm like Pythagrean's theorm, I can't be solved
- I would like to be refered to as 'The Big Aristotle'.
- I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.
- I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.
- Me shooting 40% at the foul line is just God's way to say nobody's perfect.
- Why don't you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I'm stronger).
The best part about these? They are ALL less than 140 characters. This man was born to Tweet. I’m clearly following Shaq (along with 5k others), and you should be too. Recent brilliance includes:
- The giant has awoken lets get ready to rumble
- U can believe n me lord b, believe it or not im just like u bro, im a nice guy
- Why does shane battier always were that golf masters jacket on the bench, lol
According to the Grey Lady, the fake Shaq account was started by a Suns fan, whose prose (twose?) was so pitch perfect that he had many fooled. The account was discovered by Shaq's sports marketing firm - who had been urging him to Twitter anyway. While the original fake Shaq account has been removed, the parody continues over at Twitter/NotShaqONeal. Shaq has taken the whole thing in stride and issued a statement to other would-be impostors: "I just want to say, ‘Nice job,’ but now let the professional take over. There can only be one me. Uno más me." (108 characters!)