I've been trying to find a way to blog about the efficiency and wonder that is 1-800-Mattress for the last few days - and this morning at 5:10am I finally found the perfect tie in..
I'm off to NYC for the day for work. Being all Type A and shit, I obviously called to reserve a cab for a 5:10am pick up yesterday afternoon. 5:10am came and went. I called Washington, DC's Diamond Cab, and after three attempts to break through their hold music was informed that there were "no cabs in my area," and it was "unclear" when a cab would become available. Um, seriously, what the fuck. And here our parallel begins.
While Diamond Cab is apparently totally incapable of ensuring you a cab with a days notice - you can in fact call 1-800-Mattress and order a full fucking bed set which they will not only procure for you, but deliver and set up in 24 hours. This is how I got my bed five years ago - I called and said I wanted a full sized bed of medium squishiness. The next day these brawny dudes showed up and did everything except put the freaking sheets on and arrange my throw pillows. (An experience mirrored by nearly a dozen of my friends who have also used 1-800-Mattress.) What's wrong with this picture?!
In other news, the guy sitting next to me on the train seems to be drenched in designer impostor cologne - another nuisance that befalls me most time I travel. Am I supposed to be turned on by this? You know those Axe commercials are fake, right? I'm sure he'll start snoring any minute now.